The Romans gave us the phrase In Vino Veritas - in wine, there is truth (usually the blunt, unfiltered kind that slips out somewhere around the second bottle). But for the agnostic drinker, a much better classical phrase might be In Vino Fabulae: in wine, there are stories.

Whether you view biblical floods or thirsty French Popes as divine providence or just fantastic folklore, the stories left behind in the soil are entirely real. You do not need to be remotely religious to appreciate that without the church, the modern wine landscape would look completely different. From the dawn of civilisation to the upcoming UK Harvest Festival, here is your chronological guide to how fermented grape juice became heavily intertwined with the heavens.

Naturally, reading about ancient drinking is thirsty work, so we have attached a few brilliant bottles to every chapter, allowing you to drink right along with the history. Simply click on any wine to view its full profile.

The Post-Flood Pour

Genesis claims that after enduring forty days on a floating zoo with every noisy, smelling animal on earth, the very first thing Noah did upon hitting dry land was plant a vineyard and get completely hammered. Frankly, who can blame him? Mount Ararat dominates the ancient Armenian horizon, and archaeologists digging in the nearby Areni-1 cave complex actually found a 6,100-year-old commercial winery to back up the region's ancient pedigree. Of course, neighbouring Georgia fiercely disputes the title of 'oldest wine region', so we have cheekily included them both.

• The Ancient Claim: Zorah Karasí Areni Noir A direct link to the Areni-1 cave. This stunning Armenian red is aged in traditional clay amphorae, offering an earthy, spicy profile with vibrant red fruits that feels as ancient as it tastes.
• The Rival Narrative: Bedoba Saperavi Georgia's answer to the history books. Saperavi is a rare, red-fleshed grape that produces an incredibly deep, inky pour packed with dark berry fruit and a warming, rustic edge.
• The Buried Treasure: Tbilvino Qvevris Rkatsiteli Fermented in clay pots buried underground exactly as they did thousands of years ago. It pours a striking amber colour, offering wild notes of dried apricot, walnut, and grippy tea-like tannins.

The Divine Debauchery

Before wine was adopted by quiet monks, it was the literal embodiment of ancient chaos. The Greeks had Dionysus; the Romans rebranded him as Bacchus. To them, wine was not simply an agricultural product—it was a deity that demanded absolute, unhinged devotion. The Romans threw Bacchanalia festivals that were so wild and destructive the Senate eventually had to ban them. If you want to drink like an ancient deity, look to the Mediterranean.

• The Greek God: Domaine Sigalas Santorini Assyrtiko Grown in windswept, volcanic island vineyards. This brings a striking, sea-spray salinity and a flinty edge that feels like a lightning bolt from Mount Olympus.
• The Roman Fire: Idda Etna Rosso Cultivated on the steep, smoking slopes of Mount Etna. It offers a distinct earthy spice and a crushed-rock minerality that speaks directly of Sicily's rugged volcanic terrain.
• Feudi di San Gregorio Irpinia Aglianico Serpico Aglianico is one of Italy's oldest varieties. This southern Italian powerhouse is rich, deeply coloured, and loaded with black cherry, sweet spice, and a velvety texture.

The Saintly Quirks

Countless bottles feature a 'Saint' on the label, and their historical backstories are often perfectly chaotic. Take Saint Vincent, the patron saint of winemakers - he was supposedly tortured on a wine press by the Romans. It is a rather grim but highly committed way to secure the title of Saint. Then consider the sheer irony of Saint Émilion: an 8th-century monk and cave-dwelling hermit who dedicated his entire life to extreme poverty and severe self-denial. Fast forward a millennium, and his name is permanently plastered across some of the most decadent, lavish claret on the planet. The folklore behind these saintly names adds a brilliant, slightly dark mythology to the shelf.

• The Northern Star: Cuilleron Saint-Joseph Les Pierres Sèches Named after the patron saint of workers, this northern Rhône Syrah is a masterclass in savoury elegance, offering tense notes of black olive, cracked pepper, and dark woodland fruit.
• The Blessed White: Louis Jadot Saint-Aubin 1er Cru En Remilly A beautifully tense, mineral-driven white Burgundy named for a saintly bishop. It boasts crisp orchard fruit, perfect acidity, and seamlessly integrated toasted oak.
• The Legendary Monk: Château Barrail du Blanc Saint Émilion Grand Cru Legend has it Saint Émilion was a miracle-working monk who settled in a limestone cave in Bordeaux. This Merlot-dominant blend honours the history with plush plum, cedar, and serious depth.

The Original Terroir Sleuths

The medieval Cistercian and Benedictine monks essentially invented the concept of terroir. They mapped out the legendary vineyard plots we still revere today by obsessively walling off tiny parcels of land in Burgundy and physically tasting the earth to figure out which soil grew the best Pinot Noir. It was a level of dedication bordering on madness, but the results in the glass remain unmatched.

• The Golden Slope: Vincent Girardin Puligny Montrachet Vieilles Vignes An exceptionally accessible entry into the magic of white Burgundy. It offers generous notes of ripe peach, hazelnut, and a soft, rounded finish that highlights the limestone soils.
• The Historic Red: Domaine Albert Morot Beaune 1er Cru Les Bressandes The quintessential expression of the monks' hard work. This Pinot Noir is delicate yet deeply complex, bursting with wild strawberry, earthy undertones, and a remarkably silky texture.
• The Everyday Geeks: Domaine Matrot Bourgogne Chardonnay You do not need to spend hundreds to taste the terroir. This is a wonderfully fresh, everyday pour of Chardonnay that punches well above its weight with bright citrus and a touch of butter.

The Papal Power Grab

When the papacy relocated from Rome to Avignon in the fourteenth century, they had an immediate problem: ensuring a steady supply of good wine. Rather than relying on imported barrels, the holy court built a new summer home and planted Grenache and Syrah right in the back garden to keep themselves adequately hydrated. Thus, Châteauneuf-du-Pape (the Pope's new castle) was born.

• The Papal Pour: Télégramme Châteauneuf-du-Pape A heavyweight southern Rhône blend absolutely worthy of the Avignon papacy. Rich, incredibly warming, and packed with dark plum, roasted herbs, and a spicy complexity.
• The Holy Neighbour: Domaine les Pallières Les Racines Gigondas Just down the road from the Pope's castle sits Gigondas. This brings a beautifully rustic, meaty character with bold black fruits and cracked black pepper that drinks like a dream.
• The Weekday Classic: Paul Jaboulet Aîné 'Parallèle 45' Côtes du Rhône Rouge The ultimate midweek pour that shares the same historical DNA. It is a soft, deeply fruity, and brilliantly reliable Syrah-blend that demands virtually nothing but a glass.

The Accidental Fizz

Dom Pérignon commands his own chapter to dismantle the romanticised "tasting the stars" myth. The reality is far funnier: he spent a good portion of his life desperately trying to stop his wine from bubbling because exploding glass bottles were taking out his fellow monks like shrapnel in the abbey cellar. Thankfully, he failed, accidentally cementing the traditional method of creating the world's finest sparkling wines.

• The Original Accident: Dom Pérignon Vintage Champagne The man himself might have hated the bubbles, but we can forgive him. Produced only in exceptional vintage years, it delivers an incredibly fine mousse and a staggeringly complex palate of toasted brioche, honey, and smoke.
• The New World Master: House of Arras Grand Vintage Proof the traditional method translates beautifully overseas. What truly sets this Tasmanian marvel apart is the extended ageing on lees, resulting in a staggering depth of toasted brioche and oyster shell.
• The English Challenger: Hundred Hills Blanc de Blancs Vintage Made using the exact same traditional methods but grown in Oxfordshire. It delivers a cutting, brilliant acidity alongside complex baked apple notes that rival the French heavyweights.

Giving Thanks In The Glass

All of this ties perfectly into the UK Harvest Festival, which falls on Saturday, 26th September 2026. It is a tradition of giving thanks for the crop that long predates modern agriculture. The next time you pull the cork on a bottle named after a chaotic saint or an old monastic order, you are tapping into a lineage that stretches back to the dawn of civilisation.

So, raise a glass on harvest weekend. You certainly do not need to be religious to appreciate the historical intervention that gave us such fantastic wine - it is simply the ultimate excuse to open a bottle and toast to a beautifully chaotic history.

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